Back to school blues? Clinical psychologist reveals the four secrets to secondary school success

A nationwide study by NatWest Rooster Money has revealed 80% of parents are feeling anxious about their child’s transition to a new school year, rising to 90% amongst those whose kids are about to move up to secondary school
Top concerns including whether they’ll make friends, how they’ll manage the workload and how they’ll cope with so much novelty at once
To ease their worries, clinical psychologist, author and parenting influencer Dr Martha Deiros Collado has teamed up with NatWest Rooster Money to share her four top ingredients for kids to have a successful transition to secondary school – and more practical tips on how to work towards them

Ahead of schools reopening their doors in England and Wales next week, research has shown that 80% of parents with kids aged nine to 13 are feeling anxious about their child’s transition to a new school year.

The Censuswide poll of 1,000 parents found concerns are even more pronounced amongst those whose kids are about to move up to secondary school, with 90% of this group admitting they’re anxious about the big step.

The most common worries include whether they’ll make new friends, how they’ll manage their new workload, how they’ll cope with so much novelty at once, how they’ll adjust to being the youngest again, and how they’ll manage getting to and from school.

To put minds across the country at ease, clinical psychologist and parenting expert Dr Martha Deiros Collado has joined forces with kids pocket money app NatWest Rooster Money to share insights and actionable tips for parents and families to navigate this period of change together.

According to Dr Martha, the four things that matter the most for kids moving from primary to secondary school are:

Feeling confident – choice and ownership are valuable for helping kids feel empowered and prepared. Dr Martha suggests getting them involved in the decisions leading up to going back: what do they want to eat at school? What uniform options do they want to wear? Perhaps there are items such as stationery or a bag that you can pick out together to help them feel excited?
Feeling a connection to the school – the transition is much less daunting if there’s an element of familiarity and knowing what to expect. Parents can help instil this by looking at the school website with their child, taking part in induction events together and talking about the things their child is looking forward to or feeling nervous about.
Unlocking independence – it can be helpful to practise some of the things they’re going to be doing by themselves for the first time, to reassure them they can do it. That might mean doing a dummy run of the journey to to school together
Not feeling alone – it’s normal for kids to have mixed emotions about the next step in their school life and the most important thing parents can do is to validate them. Dr Martha recommends taking the time to have open conversations with your child to understand how they’re feeling. The key is to listen, acknowledge and problem-solve together where it’s needed.

“Transitioning to secondary school is a huge milestone, at a time when children are also going through the early stages of puberty – and the physical, psychological and emotional changes that come with it. It can all feel daunting and exciting at the same time, and as their parent, you’re the best person to guide them through it.

“Boost your child’s self-esteem by focusing on their strengths and noticing the ways they’ve grown, build their confidence by letting them take small, safe risks in and outside the home, and encourage their excitement by chatting about the opportunities ahead they’re looking forward to. But critically, don’t neglect the more difficult emotions they might be experiencing – whether it’s worries about going somewhere new or sadness about leaving friends behind, ensure they feel heard and supported and work it through together.”

Dr Martha Deiros Collado, clinical psychologist, author and parenting expert

“It’s not just kids who have worries and concerns around going back to school – it’s an emotional time for parents as well. Hopefully these findings reassure them that it’s absolutely normal and we’re all in the same boat. By teaming up with Dr Martha, we're aiming to empower as many families as we can with the information and support they need at this critical time in their children’s lives – to help them take on this next big adventure.

We know from our experience at Rooster that going to school can be a milestone for children feeling more independent. Whether it's getting transport to school on their own, gaining more independence with their money or doing more with their friends. The key thing is acknowledging and giving them independence, but making sure there’s always a listening ear for support when they need it.”

Will Carmichael, CEO of NatWest Rooster Money

This research follows NatWest Rooster Money’s Pocket Money Index 2022/23 findings earlier this year. The year-long study of more than 119,000 children’s financial habits revealed the beginning of secondary school as a trigger for newfound independent spending. Ranking 7th in the list of places to spend money was public transport, while food outlets including Co-op, Tesco, McDonald’s and Sainsbury’s all featured within the top 10 most popular places for kids to spend.

Editors notes:
The research was conducted by Censuswide with a sample of 1,000 parents (aged 24+) of children aged 9-13 years old. The survey fieldwork took place between 11.08.2023 and 14.08.2023.

Further findings include the top 5 things parents are anxious about when thinking about their child’s transition to the next school year, detailed below.

Overall cohort:
How they’ll manage their new workload (35%)
Whether they’ll make new friends (33%)
How they’ll cope with so much novelty at once (26%)
Having the right things for school each day (25%)
How they’ll manage getting to and from school (20%)

Parents with kids moving up to secondary school:
Whether they’ll make new friends (53%)
How they’ll manage their new workload (52%)
How they’ll cope with so much novelty at once (43%)
How they’ll adjust to being the youngest at school again (36%)
How they’ll manage getting to and from school (31%)

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